A human
being created specifically to be yours.
A match,
indeed a perfect match, that crosses all the I’s n dots all the t’s in your
life.
An opposite
charge, which completes you and ensured you efficacy and purpose.
A helper, to
support and assist you in all your dealings
YOUR OTHER
HALF
Different
people have different and perhaps contradicting views on the subject;
Many feel
anyone can play all those roles mentioned above, “it doesn’t have to be anyone special” they say.
Others feel
it is not a person, but a kind of person, a specie or category of people who
fit a certain profile that is compatible to yours.
Others feel
it is a person who fits into the circumstances or situations you face at a
particular period of time, hence, the profile mentioned above changes with
respect to the other parameters.
Most feel it
is someone carved and created at the same time as you and for you.
I feel it’s a product
of time and purpose.
I don’t hold
any views about the nature of the one, or if there is any such being created
for me. Yet, I feel she plays such a huge role in the attainment of my purpose.
So does her
role make her specially designed for the job?
Was the job
tailored to her or was it vice versa?
Were we both
crafted and then our pursuit laid out?
If so, were
our individual qualities designed specifically for the pursuit/purpose or was
it just a coincidence? And if
designed for this purpose, why couldn’t it all just be wrapped up into one
person and then give the other something else to pursue.
Two words
resonate in my head when I think of this topic, time and purpose.
Relationships
are not just for procreation, nor are they just between boy and girl, or man
and woman; it is in all our life dealings and activities: at school, work,
church, business, everywhere. We meet, interact, work with and learn from
people who are in direct or indirect relationships with us. Many of these
people are born or not raised with us. They come into our lives at a particular
time to play a role which may either be temporal or permanent and for our benefit,
theirs or that of others.
So does this
place emphasis on the role rather than the person?
No, but all
the same we should add the person to the two resonating words mentioned
earlier. These three, become our three key factors in a relationship: time (period),
purpose and person.
The period determines the purpose and that in turn determines
the person.
For every period, there is a purpose to fulfill, and for that
purpose, there is a person to pursue it with.
Let’s take a trip through the life of an individual, from
conception to adulthood to understand the impact of these three factors in his
relationships.
At birth, the purpose
is nursing the child and the person
involved is primarily the mother.
It is with
her the child forms a close bond and relationship with, depending on her for
everything from nutrition to safety and hygiene. This is because the purpose of
nursing a child requires the person of a mother, her features and abilities.
Thus, the child continues his sweet relationship with his mother, carried on
from inside her womb.
The child
grows, then good education and sound development become a goal, the purpose of
nursing grows into that of grooming and development.
Hence, the
person’s required for this extend beyond the catchment of the home, as the
school and church join in and the persons such as teachers and nannies take up
an active role.
Big
Question: Is there a special nanny or teacher, specially created and crafted to
teach or take care of the child?
I don’t
think so. But as a parent, you would always seek the best.
Let’s
continue our journey.
So the child
grows further, moves to another period in life, where the peer group sets in
and friends now play a more active role than the parents. The parents are now
slowly losing their spot as the protagonists in this piece as the period
changes. Now the peers and friends have much more influence on the child.
Still the
parents want their children to keep good company and stay away from bad
influences, and they do the little they can to ensure this.
So the
persons required for this period are good friends, and the characteristics of
such are well known among parents.
Let’s move
on to the next period of his life, when the media takes a hold of him, working
hand-in-hand with his peers. This moves the parents way down the pecking order,
but they still want the best for him, so they put in all the effort to curb the
vices that can be propagated via such media. T.V shows, the internet, games,
radio, magazines, etc.
At school he
needs to get good grades, so he can get a good job later in life. If he sticks
to the right crowd, he has a better chance at attaining that.
Once again,
the parents talk, counsel, hope and pray. They put him in the best schools with
the best teachers, providing the best persons and the most conducive
environment to guarantee the best education. His friends, classmates, tutors,
girlfriends, club and frat mates can either propel or distract him. (This makes
them active people too).
If he sticks
to the plan and gets the good job, he settles in it and then WANTS TO TAKE A
WIFE!
Granted, he
must have had relationships and liaisons in previous periods; some may have
altered his period progression or even fast tracked it. Say, he got someone
pregnant back in college or as a teenager; if so, procreation (one of the goals
of marriage) has already begun, so can we say he has met the one? They may not
be compatible, nor even love each other, or have any direction whatsoever to
start with.
Let’s get
back to our journey. He is exiting the bachelor period and now wants to take a
wife, the purpose is to start a family and settle down. The person is ‘the
right woman’
Now he needs
to find her.
The parents,
who from the beginning have tried to ensure that he had the right person(s) for
every purpose in every period, also have a say. Many parents arranged marriages
and in days of old (Even now), many are betrothed at birth and some don’t even
get to meet their future spouses until the wedding day.
The parents
have picked what they felt was the right person for their children up to this
point. If they have been right all this while, through all the periods of his
life; from the choice of nannies, teachers, tutors, schools, friends, churches
etc, what stops them from being right now?
They still
feel they have the right idea of the right person for their child.
If a man
needs search for a wife, can he get outside help (from the likes of his
parents) or does he need to do it alone?
Irrespective
of that, before searching, he needs to have an idea of what he is searching
for, and that idea is dependent on what purpose he is pursuing.
A man that
doesn’t have purpose can’t know the right person. This is because the right
person, as we have seen in our journey through his life, is totally dependent
on the purpose.
That said,
since we now know that the purpose determines the person, and when you know
that purpose, you will know the right person to co-pilot with you in the
pursuit. Then, any other person who has that information can be of help to you.
Be of help
to you? I mean, whoever knows your purpose, will definitely have an idea of the
person for you and what about HE who gave you your purpose? HE is surely the
one who knows exactly who need.
If there is
any ONE here, it is GOD. GOD is the ONE.
The all-knowing
knows who the best co-pilot to fly the plane to the destination is.
Just like
the parents who out of their will and determination to ensure that the purpose
of every single period of your life was met, went out of their way to ensure
you had the right persons to aid you in those pursuits; so is our heavenly
FATHER. The only difference is that HE not only created us and the purpose, HE
created the persons as well.
FIND YOUR
PURPOSE IN HIM AND LET HIM GUIDE YOU, NOT ONLY TO IT, BUT TO LEAD YOU TO THE
PERSON(S) WHO WILL PLAY A MAJOR ROLE IN ITS PURSUIT.
HE CREATED YOU, HE KNOWS BEST.
_____________________________________________________
Copyright. Olayinka Agbaje-Williams, 2015
All Rights Reserved
Image courtesy play.google.com
