Tuesday, 12 February 2013

THE WEIGHT OF WORDS


 Words are potent,
 Words carry weight
They can become a milestone on the receiver’s neck,
Or a piece of humble pie in the speaker’s plate
Fueled by the speaker’s emotion; love or hate
These words carry a lot of weight
 
Hence, a word to woo, lure or bait,
To say, I will not hesitate
But words of anger will have to wait
‘cause they become a burden on the hearer
And my apology might come too late.
By then, the damage is done,
Resulting in a shut heart’s gate

Harsh words said repeatedly at this rate
Make future conversation improbable,
As speaker and hearer can no longer relate
So, why go ahead to say them?
Why tempt fate?
I’d rather bury them in the past,
And start on a clean slate.
Will you?


THE WEIGHT OF WORDS

Soft speech, gentle words, a harsh tone, a soft tone, aggressive speech: different outputs from different people which provoke varying actions from the receiver.
The argument, a disagreement, a debate: these not only produce a gloating winner, but also a sorrowful loser.

The fine lines between right and wrong often define the reception of the house to those holding the varying opinions; cheers to the right man and jeers to the wrong.
There is therefore a burning desire in every man to always be right and for his opinion to suppress that of others at every time, as it gives him the high of being right.

The truth is, we do this to the detriment of others, silencing or not recognizing the opinions of the next man is derogatory, leaving him lacking self confidence.
The more a man’s voice grows among that of his peers, the more his feeling of invincibility and subsequent disregard of others in his speech. Harsh and disrespectful words become the norm in our conversations and rhetoric.

So do we actually care what the next man feels about what we say?

In a supervisor-subordinate or elder-junior relationship, the popular opinion is that the former is always right regardless and irrespective of the surrounding circumstances.
Their word is law!

If such a scenario were to end in a disagreement, we blame the latter because society has already labeled them wrong.
So until the junior becomes an elder, he will remain wrong and the elder remains right.
Hence, the spur on the part of the junior to become an elder as fast as possible. He is anxious to have a voice that is worth listening too with uniform acknowledgement of its veracity.

That dealt with, what if there is no elder in the given scenario?
What if they are peers, brothers, classmates or a couple?
Who is right? And who is wrong?

From the origin of such unions or groups, opinions are shared, views are often uniform. So when there is a difference of view or opinion, it can get really ugly.
Spontaneous reactions begin to look premeditated and often leave both sides with a checkered perception of the other.

Yet, we cannot totally avoid this, can we? Yes we can.

The solution is simple; detach your emotions from your points and overall argument, because they cloud your reasoning.
If the speaker is speaking with clouded reasoning, and the listener is an emotional wreck, there is a propensity for intense argument and consequent ill-feeling.

Both sides ought to clear their heads, clearly process their words with the other person in mind.
If you are talking to a temperamental person, speak softly and meekly make your points. Do not in a desire to be right, light up their temper’s flame.
If it is the other way around, do not take advantage of a person’s meekness and try to impose your opinion on him. It does not guarantee a favourable reception of your words.

Carelessly throwing words back and forth only shortens the lifespan of any relationship, and that does nobody any good.
So let’s all carefully choose our words when expressing our views, especially when the other person does not share it.


Who knows, you might both be right!


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Copyright. Olayinka Agbaje-Williams, 2015

All Rights Reserved

Image courtesy uldissprogis.com